One Line Joke
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.
Why are all the dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men will understand them.
Name ten animals from Africa. Nine elephants and a giraffe.
Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine.
The thief stole a calendar. He got 12 months.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you
Do step ladders have real parents?
How do you keep an idiot in suspense???
..........
...........
........huh! !!
Can I have a return ticket please. Certainly, where to? Back here, you fool.
Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
A magician was driving down the road....then he turned into a drive way...
Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"
On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip
into a nice Jersey".
You're last name should be Campbells, cus your mmmm... GOOD
Tell me something, girl. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Your name must be cheerios...cuz you seem healthy for my heart.
Girl are you tired, cuz youve been running through my mind all day
Is your dad in jail? Cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
Hey baby, You must be from Tennesee........cause your the only Ten-I-See
Excuse me miss, are you a Hostess? Because you've got some sweet cakes!!
You Dropped something , "My jaw"
Are you a sargeant? Cause you make my privates stand up straight.
I know I'm not Fred Flinestone, but I can make your Bed Rock
You know what would look really good on you? No, what? Me.
You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?
I wouldn't be surprised if you were Cambell's soup, Cause you are mmm mmm good!
Did it hurt? When u fell out of Hevan?
Baby do you have a mirror in your jeans cause I can defiently see my self in them.
I may not be the best looking here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Are you wearing space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!
Am I cute, or do you need another drink?